What is the definition of Investing Research?

Investing research is like pouring money into a science experiment, but instead of trying to make it rain, you're hoping to make a new type of existential crisis pop-up on the market. Picture this: "We're investing research into creating a bubble that proves we're all just giant, existential bubbles floating aimlessly in the cosmic void, but only because nobody else has thought to ask." That's right, folks, it's a fancy term for hoping someone else will wake you up from your own existential slumber.